For one thing, it was the farthest I have ever run in my life. (Except for that time at the border involving a case of flintstones vitamins, a ball-peen hammer and a trunk full of mashed potatoes).
Anyway, it was also my first organized running event. Usually I train for an event and then get sick before the event starts; sort of like some of my dates. (Btw - I've found that vomiting every time you talk a girl does not boost their self esteem. I tried to use the whole, "It's not me - it's you" thing but that just made it worse.)
I love a good tangent. Back to the run. The whole thing was pretty motivating for me, so I thought I would pass on my experience.
All the runners met up at the Ragnar HQ in Kaysville. I had imagined that I would be running in a pack of super-models - and fitting in! In real life, I got to the parking lot and there seemed to be 3 groups of people.
First, there were a bunch of career runners who looked all skinny and meat-less. I'm sure they are super fit, but they had the physique of Steve Urkel. No me gusta. There was also a handful of beefy dudes and dudesses who looked awesome. They weren't magazine models but it was clear they were doing weights as well as cardio. One guy had calves that looked like granite wrapped in rawhide. I realized I was hypnotized by his calves when when he motioned and said, "My eyes are up here!". The third group looked like average people who were trying to be more fit. They were a little lumpy and whatnot, but good for them for fighting it. I suppose I was technically in the third group, but the second group is a good goal.
Then we started our 4 mile run. It was in Kaysville, so the path was relatively flat. After about 1/2 a mile, our knot of runners had separated into 4 groups:
1. The Slim Jims - I don't ever want be running so much that that my body looks like some kind of beef jerky.
2. The hot people - This group seemed to have a balanced fitness plan. They looked good and were right up there with the Skinnies. I read once that boxers punch harder around beautiful women. Maybe it works with running. I figured if I could keep up with the "Hots"then it would help me keep motivated. I'd never knowingly run 4 miles before so I wasn't sure if I'd complete this run.
3. The Changers - I tried to keep up with the Hots, but couldn't hack it. I fell back in to the Changers. They seemed to be people like me who were taking charge of their fitness. We were decently behind the first two groups, and I was the tail end of the Changers.
4. The Unprepared - This group was WAY behind me and I am heavy and slow. I'm getting ready for a Ragnar next year, so I hope to never be found in the unprepared camp. Although the name of this group sounds negative, at least they are dreaming big and taking action! What are you going to do today? Watch TV?
The longer we ran, the more humbling it was. It's easy to feel like you're "pretty fit" when you train on your own, but I enjoyed getting a reminder that I have a lot to do to meet my Ragnar goals. I was at the back of the Changers pack and reminded myself plenty of times that completing this death run was more important than my time. Yep. I called it a death run. Although as I was running it occurred to me that being fat and unhealthy is a suicide of small degrees. Better to die in a run than to die the death-of-a-thousand-cheeseburgers. I'm not sure why running always gets me thinking about death...
The real killer of the being at the back of the Changers was that I was behind the LF&D group. That stands for Lumpy, Frumpy and Dumpy. They were all jiggly and nauseating running in front of me, but they were tough! As unhealthy as they looked, they cleaned my clock on this run. It was odd to be slower than some 55 year old architect. He didn't have love handles - he had love railings. And they were big enough to skateboard on. But that dude can run. Respect. It just shows that you really can't judge people by what you see. Except for Lady Gaga and Marylin Manson. I think what you see is what you get.
The low point of the race came when I noticed a father and son duo running at the front of the changers. The kid looked like he was 10 or so. Seriously!? A 10 year old is tougher than me. Then I saw him stop to walk. I admit I felt glee. When I passed him, I wanted to push him down and laugh. It sounds less funny now that I type it out, but when your legs are burning and you're tired... pushing someone down seems pretty hilarious. Don't judge me.
When I got to the last half mile, I noticed that I still had a good amount of energy. It's funny cuz I was tired the whole race, but right at the end I felt a little boost. It might have been physiological, or it could have been the Maroon 5 I was listening to. Either way I ran pretty hard for the last bit. Maybe my pace should have been faster over the run so that I would have less left at the end?
When it was all said and done, I covered the 4 miles in 44 minutes. It felt like a pretty big success for covering my longest distance ever. But then I remembered that the minimum pace for the Ragnar is an 11 minute mile. Congratulations! I have trained enough to meet the minimum race requirements. Sad but true. On the other hand, if I can come this far then anyone can. If I can learn to exercise through pain and numerous joint problems then you can too.
