You have a stressful job. On top of that, you have family, community and other obligations. You've got a lot going on! Your mind is just like a muddy river. When you spend all day sloshing around trying to get things done, it can become difficult to see clearly. Just like the river, if you stop stirring things up, the mind can learn to settle down.
Do you ever find yourself caught up in negative thoughts that you can't seem to let go of? Do you experience road rage, impatience when people cut in line, or feelings of being overwhelmed by life? Do you find yourself so enthralled in your inner monologue and mental commentary that you miss parts of conversations or events? Do you spend significant time judging yourself or others? Do you spill or knock things over because you're not quite paying attention? Do you get preoccupied with the future or the past?
These are all signs that the mind is running around completely uncontrolled like a rockstar on tour. In the meditation world this is called "mindlessness". It means people spend a large portion of their lives on autopilot - letting their lives determine their actions, emotions and thoughts instead of letting emotions and thoughts determine their lives. The cure for mindlessness is mindfulness. Mindfulness means living our lives in the present in an open, attentive and non-judgmental way.
Why Meditate?
Abraham Lincoln once said that if he had six hours to chop down a tree, he'd spend the first four hours sharpening his axe. As your greatest tool, your mind could use some maintenance.
Meditation is a tool that teaches us mindfulness. Meditation helps us reduce stress by training our minds to let go of worries and stresses. It trains the mind to focus and non-judgmentally observe life. Meditation is also time to learn about yourself. It's about nobody but you. Over time, meditation teaches us not just to control our thoughts, but how to stop thoughts that are unhelpful to us. It can also reduce the impact of minor irritations in our lives and improve the mind's ability to concentrate. This in turn helps us to be more productive, which can also decrease stress.
Since meditation can be done by anyone and is free, I recommend trying it out for a week or two. See if it helps YOU and then decide how you feel about it.
What to do:
Meditation isn't all that exotic really. You don't need to put on robes and shave your head or be a part of any particular belief system. You don't need to chant anything or buy any special equipment.
Go somewhere quiet. Sit in a comfortable position that you can maintain for 10 minutes without moving or shifting your weight. Sitting in a chair is perfectly fine. You don't have to fold yourself into a pretzel to meditate. Sit with your back straight and tall and don't let it rest on anything. Your back may get tired at first, but you'll get used to it. Good posture never killed anyone.
Now put your hands somewhere comfortable. They could be rested on your thighs, folded in your lap, palm up on your knees - you get to choose. The important thing is that your posture be comfortable, natural and encourage alertness.
You should now be relaxedly sitting in a comfortable meditative position. It may take some practice to fully relax. Take a quick inventory of your body before you start and look for tense muscles. Are you clenching your jaw? Keep your head looking naturally forward. Close your eyes and just breathe naturally. You don't need a particular breathing pace. Just do what is natural for you. Now, you are ready to start meditating.
As you breathe, focus on your breath. Feel the sensation as it rushes in through your nose. Notice how the abdomen moves as you breathe. Be aware of the air and how it feels in your lungs. Choose whichever of those three aspects that you want, and focus on it. Whatever you are focusing on (ie feelings in the nose) keep your thoughts focused on it.
BAM! You just learned to meditate. Seriously. It sounds easy and possibly a little silly or pointless. In truth, your mind will try to wander. It may even wander for 5 minutes before you even REALIZE that your mind has wandered. Each time, you will gently return your thoughts to your breathing. This will training your mind to pay attention to things. Over time you will improve your ability to notice when your mind is wandering and will teach your mind incredible powers of concentration. You will get better at identifying and CHOOSING your emotions. Best of all, you will find yourself living your life more consciously.
Meditation isn't for me!
If you don't want to try meditation, you can still reduce stress by incorporating some mindfulness practices into your life. Meditation is one of the best ways to train the mind, but you can still get a lot of benefit from other methods. Here are 10 ideas to get you started:
1. Stop filling every second of your life. When you drive in the car... just drive. Whether you're working or making a sandwich, just do that one thing and nothing else. Many people are in the bad habit of perpetually distracting themselves with music, TV, radio, podcasts, celebrity news, tweets, emails, etc. Stop it.
2. Spend time alone. Have some time each day where you are by yourself in a quiet place.
3. Start being aware of how much mental chatter is going on in your head. All that commentary in your mind is pretty entertaining, but it is distracting you.
4. Stop thinking about work as a distraction from your life. Think of work as your life when you are at work, and home as your life when you are at home.
5. Avoid gossip. Being mindful is all about being non judgmental remember?
6. Perform everything as if you work at nothing. Be someone that people enjoy working with.
7. Be more observant of what you feel and why. Be careful not to dwell on yourself too much.
8. Accept that life isn't fair. Really. Accept it. The good guy doesn't always get the girl and the villain is richer, smarter and better looking than you.
9. When a problem comes up, stay in the moment. Don't bring up past problems or forecast new ones.
10. When work drama comes (and it will) consciously choose calmness and communication as your responses.
People who are learning to control their minds are like the ocean. No matter how chaotic things appear, just below the surface they are calm.
"Happiness in comfort is not real happiness. When you can be happy in the midst of hardship, then you see the true potential of the mind." Huanchu Daoren
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